(Since it is getting near to wedding season, I thought I would share this piece that was written for a friend’s daughter and read at her bridal shower.)
I wrote a little rhyme; I hope you don’t mind
With all the advice coming your way,
It’s important to read these lines each day.
The main message is: Don’t do what I do!
It’s really not healthy for him or for you.
DON’T fix him his breakfast first thing on a mornin’,
A man must learn early the rules of adornin’.
A lady needs her first cuppa delivered to her bed
If she’s to start her day with a clear and fresh head.
DON’T wonder out loud if he will ever change the toilet roll,
Just do it and be grateful he found the toilet bowl hole.
DON’T retrieve his wet towel from the floor,
Unless he is watching from the bedroom door.
In that case sensuously slink to sweep it onto his head
And then run like mad as he returns to bed!
DON’T lay in bed naked like a feast prepared.
A man wants to feel like he has caught what he dared;
That he has fought his way to the buried treasure,
To gleefully uncover it measure by measure.
DON’T be his mommy, he has one of those,
Who already taught him how to wipe his own nose.
If you do, in ten years you will be a lone mother
To two small children and their overgrown brother!
DON’T attack him with complaints that begin with ‘you’,
He won’t hear the rest of the sentence if you do.
Be ready with praises, and slow to complain,
Make your mind known like a gentle-falling rain.
DON’T lose your own identity in this union,
It is with God that you have first communion.
Your man fell in love with ‘you’ at a cost,
If ‘you’ disappears, he’ll be hunting what is lost.
With prayers and best wishes for a lifetime of adventure,
Lois Loban Stuckenbruck